People are passionate about the shit they are passionate about. That’s cool.
There are many topics that inspire crazy levels of excitement and dedication in me that other people find totally pointless and boring (“Let’s talk about succession sowing kale some more, can we, can we please?!”) On the other hand, fourteen seconds of polite conversation about anything popular-culture gets me to the smile-and-nod level. That song that’s getting played everywhere? Yeah, I don’t know it. That show everyone’s watching? I’ve never seen it. That guy who looks amazing with his shirt off? I have no idea who you are talking about – is he a farmer?
But here’s the thing I’ve learned: even when you are super-duper passionate about something, it’s best to take the soft-sell approach. For most people, the only thing that’s a bigger turn-off than a detailed discussion of which kale is best for Fall (a clear tie between Chidori and Lacinato) vs. Winter (Red Russian unless you are in very cold climates in which case Siberian or Winterbor) is that same discussion coming from a fanatic.
Case in point, a few days ago on my Facebook page I shared a photo of a hamburger I’d made. A reader responded with a lot of passion about my hamburger bun. Typically, I don’t really engage with someone who has so much single-minded dedication to a topic because it tends to derail the main conversation. Most of us are this way – in order not to get looped into something or “feed the trolls” as it were, we avoid pointing out to overly enthusiastic people that they are spreading their heartfelt message in all the wrong way.
But I thought it might be instructive to let down the filter and add in the natural internal responses I (and I think many folks) have when they see these kinds of one-sided discussions. In this case, the comments from the reader are presented almost verbatim (some editorial license has been taken) and my responses have been mostly filled in after the fact.
How Not To Get Your Point Across
Me: Hey look, here’s a picture of a yummy hamburger I made and am now enjoying for dinner. It sure takes a long time to make a hamburger from scratch, hah hah.
Reader: Wait, you eat wheat?
Me: I eat everything.
Reader: But…I thought you were gluten free.
Me: Nope.
Reader: I thought this was a grain free page!
Me: No….I mean, I’m not anti gluten-free or anything, but for me, I’m a big tent omnivore who personally feels that there any many ways of eating that are reasonable and can be healthy. Basically, I have no dog in anyone’s dietary fight beyond periodically mentioning that some of the industrial products advertised as food are not actually food.
Reader: So, you aren’t even a gluten free site?
Me: Still no. But there are many gluten-free sites out there, perhaps you should check them out?
Reader: I don’t eat grains, sugar or high carbs.
Me: Um, congrats? Do you want a medal, or a hug or something?
Reader: Haven’t you read Wheat Belly?
Me: Oh for fuck’s sake. Yes, I’ve read Wheat Belly. I’ve also read The China Study, Good Calories, Bad Calories, Eat. Stop. Eat, The Paleo Solution, The Primal Blueprint, The Atkins New Diet Revolution, and every diet book ever written marketed around a warm sunny zip code. I’ve read all the books because I am a compulsive reader. And Wheat Belly was truly one of the worst.
If you want a legit guru for a low carb or grain free way of eating, try Gary Taubes or Robb Wolf. In the meantime, I still eat all the food and I still don’t care if you opt to only eat some of it. And I don’t care if the reason you only eat some of it is religious, dietary, ethical, medical or because that’s what the Unicorn Princess Fairies from the HappyLand Woods do to get spankin’ great asses. Whatever your reason, I fully support your right to eat only some of the food.
But I’m telling you, that was a really good hamburger.
Reader: Wheat is toxic….it’s poison!
Me: Well thank goodness this is only a picture of a hamburger, then. If it were a real hamburger, the yeasty aroma from the freshly baked, homemade, organic poppy seed bun might kill us all like Sarin Gas.
1
I am still laughing… Great post.
Some people crave an object for their outrage. (S)he chose you. For reasons I won’t bore anyone with, I avoid wheat, but I agree with you about Wheat Belly. I found it brainless, full of pseudo- science and jumbled ranting.
That hamburger looks stellar.
Wow..
I am grain free, but I don’t push it on other people. I don’t care if you are grain free or not, I simply love your site as it offers a lot of useful information via witty and amusing posts. I would never call you out for eating a bun.. ermgawd.. hell sometimes I too partake in a nice bun for my hamburger.. sometimes you just hafta.. ya know? I know the consequences and I am happy to deal with them. The burger did look really good… 🙂
LOVE it! Your hamburger looks so good! thank you for sharing your thoughts on all those dietary trendy fads out there. Let’s just eat real food and call it a day.
You are one of my favorite people
Thank you and Amen!
Your whole post made me laugh! And I wish I could eat one of those burgers – looks amazing!
Erica, I would like to believe you made that up, but alas, probably not. That hamburger is awesome…it could only be better if it was Elk burger!
Well gee, I hope you feel better now that you got that out of your system. Now, step back, take a deep breath, relax, smile, and the next time you are going to make hamburgers like that, invite me over.
Love it! Any chance you can share the bun recipe? We make sourdough, French, simple wheat batter breads, and cinnamon rolls, but would love to add a hamburger bun recipe. Love your new look and additional posts!
Sure – I used this recipe but just sprinkled poppy seeds and course salt on the top of the buns before baking.. They rose very well and had good texture but to my palate were too sweet. Next time I will try it with half whole wheat flour and half the amount of sugar for rise.
Wait… you use plates?
So done with you.
THAT is funny. Well played.
Only for the photo. Can we still be friends? 😉
You are my hero! And I agree with the others before me. It would be most awesome if you could share the recipe. 🙂
*sigh* I love when you share these kind of posts.
Hahaha…spot on!
Thank you, I needed to start my day with a big belly laugh. I do whatever the unicorn princess fairies tell me to. Thanks for saying it like it is.
Would that be a big wheat belly laugh? 😉
LOVE!
You are SO on point! I have to recall Molly Katzen’s comment on America’s Kitchen last week where she painstakenly explained that she wasn’t anti meat, she just loves vegetables. Life is short, no need to make arbitrary narrow constraints that make it not fun any more. Suffering isn’t virtuous, really.
Love your blog, even though you’re, like, 3 climate zones warmer.
YES! Great little read to start my morning with. I love how you can express all my skeptic’s annoyance towards LA diet buffoonery so eloquently and hilariously. That’s why your the writer and I’m the reader. Keep setting things straight Erica, we need someone representing all of us out there!
Hilarious! I love a well-placed f-word!
I was gluten-free for a while when I had some gut issues, but thankfully I’m over it. SO happy I can eat wheat again! Going without is very difficult. And yes, Wheat Belly was full of stupidity. Just another low carb diet in disguise and a way to sell books.
“…..Wheat Belly was full of stupidity”…. Really? In what way? His research on the past 50 years of agricultural practices, specifically related to wheat? ….or the number of patients in his practice that ‘seemed’ to have similar health issues related to underlying factors? What exactly? Just curious as to the evidence you base your assertion on. Care to elaborate?
I haven’t read that book, but I always think of Laura Ingalls Wilder when people make outrageous comments. Her family subsisted largely on PROCESSED wheat flour for much of her childhood, and she lived to be 90 years old.
Thanks for keeping it real Erica! Another reason why I get along so well with you (or at least your writing)!
You truly did say what many people don’t say to fanatics. I cannot thank you enough for the legitimacy of your argument or for how well you placed the sarcasm/f-word.
Keep up the amazing work!
Beautiful.
Recipe please??
Yes a funny post, however……..generally speaking “THANK YOU for defending the right to eat food in a manner that is important to ME, which does not take away anything from YOU. So please stop being my critic when I don’t see the world through YOUR eyes, thoughts, restrictions or morality”. Seriously thank you, no blogger (food or otherwise) can be all to all.
Amen, Sister Friend! (And thank you for the hilarious response to such ill-considered criticism. It made my day; love your blog and your sassy voice!)
And while I know that I will NEVER have a “spankin’ great ass” no matter what the Unicorn Princess Fairies’ new diets will promise, I do know that I can simply do my best to feed myself and my family things that my great-grandmother would recognize as “food”. Just carrying on, and trying to keep our food REAL.
Can we talk about free range, sustainable gluten?
It’s hopeless. The official labeling has been completely co-oped by Big Gluten. Your best bet is to find a local, pasture-based Seitan farmer and see if you can arrange a community bulk buy in the fall.
That was wonderful! The same thing happens when some quilters find out I do not prewash my fabrics. Burn the heretic!
Even though I’m now living in the Totally Opposite Climate (central Arkansas) I’m never tired of reading about gardens, back-yard chickens, and food. (I eat anything that doesn’t get me first, with the exception of two things that seem to behave like poison in my system even though everyone else in my family loves and eats them without penalty. There are 10,000 other things I can eat instead.)
I don’t prewash either but people sure do freak out about it don’t they? And, love the post. I needed a laugh after the long day I had in the ER. I work there, I wasn’t sick, just for clarification.
Thank you; you’re awesome! (tho I must admit I get a little fanatic when I see folks spraying round-up or eating fake sugar, fake fat, etc.. I’ll try to tone it down.)
…is she afraid that if your SITE isn’t gluten-free, she’ll have an attack from her imagined gluten intolerance? And if wheat is toxic… how come I’m not dead?
I don’t even grasp that logic, man. As if somehow your blog posts about gardening need to be gluten-free? How the hell does gluten even play into seed starting or your garden plans?!
You are so-o-o one of us, girl. We’re inviting you to our next Hemingway daiquiri party.
Aww, now, she’s just grumpy because she didn’t have a tremendously large slice of sourdough bread slathered with butter for breakfast this morning. Poor thing. Maybe we should all bake her a loaf of bread to make her feel better?
Thank you, thank you , thank you!
I have (medically diagnosed) celiac disease, so I HAVE to eat strictly gluten-free. If I don’t, I get really sick, really fast. What amazes me are the people who CHOOSE to avoid gluten when it’s not necessary. I would never expect other folks to change their food choices merely because I have medical restrictions. There is no accounting for some folks’ obsessions. Sigh.
Your troll might benefit from hearing that it’s possible to make very tasty gluten-free hamburger buns. And if you don’t like (or can’t eat) the bun, I’ll bet it’s just as delicious between two crisp leaves of romaine lettuce. At least no one ranted about the yummy bacon.
The hamburger looks awesome!
Ann – I was just going to say that not a single one of my legit “has to be for medical reasons” gluten-free friends would have criticized a wheaty hamburger bun because well they are probably more sane than most of us. I only made it 3/4 through wheat belly. I did peruse the recipes in the back and was pretty disgusted. I know some great sites for amazing gluten-free recipes and his looked barely edible leading me to believe he has no understanding whatsoever of food.
I think it ‘might’ be important to use just a wee-bit of critical thinking skills in regard to how the NOTION has been peddled that there are ‘some’ people or ‘mass amounts of people’ who are or have ‘gone gluten free even though they don’t need to’! Who’s peddling this notion? What is their motivation for doing so? Any ideas? Certainly what its done is set up a very effective scenario in which almost anyone who has lived with auto-immune symptoms….(debilitating and life-long…and has found no relief from the very lucrative and myopic medicine-industrial-complex disguised as “health”care)…is now not only questioned, but ridiculed and dismissed as to what they’ve discovered to be one of the underlying CAUSES of their symptoms. But hey…let’s just all continue to pretend that what we put in our mouths or not has nothing whatsoever to do with our health or how we’re feeling in any way, shape or form. I don’t know about you…but there’s a very large section in my phone book consisting of every medical ‘professional’ you can imagine!!…gosh….I ‘wonder’ why that might be? You don’t suppose it has anything to do with what we’re eating do you? Naw!
Re: K’s comment —
My statement about people unnecessarily going gluten-free comes from 11 years managing an online support group for celiac and gluten-intolerant people. Many folks have the attitude that going gluten free would make them lose weight, be smarter, make their children beautiful, or whatever. “Gluten-free” to many of those people meant just cutting back on sandwich bread, instead of the rigorous protocol that it takes to really avoid gluten. And after a week or two, those people would be off following another fad. Those who really need medically restrictive diets keep on as always, and cringe when the faddish behavior of others makes us objects of ridicule.
Yes, there are many problems with the commercial food supply these days — everything from pesticides to genetic meddling. It’s valid to experiment with one’s diet to learn what makes one’s own health optimal. But everyone is different. Some people learn what’s needed for them via an MD, others through trial and error, and most of us with a combination of both methods.
This blog is one of the places where people can learn alternatives to just buying off the shelf. Growing your own is the best answer. Thanks, Erica!
I was diagnosed gluten-intolerant a couple years ago. Shortly thereafter, to add to my misery, I had to listen to my sister-in-law the fad magnet talk about “giving up those glutens” because “they’re so bad for you”. Was she diagnosed with anything? Hell no, she’d just picked up the latest thing in the media.
I eat grain free hamburgers all the time in summer because I want to put something on the grill but I can’t be bothered to bake off buns. I find full size chard leaves work really well as wrappers – they are large enough to get around a patty but still tender and flexible.
Ok, just because no one else has mentioned it, can I just say that as a child of the PETA 1990s, I find it hilarious that we are now getting, “I can’t believe you eat wheat!! Don’t you know it’s evil” and no one’s batting an eyelash at the massive (beautiful and tasty-looking) MEAT part of your hamburger! How times have changed…sort of. 🙂
Hah! I know, I thought the same thing.
*Singing like my 3-year-old*
Bread, bread, homemade bread, storebought bread, I love bread
Hamburger buns, bagels, bread
Pretzels! Crackers! Bread!
Ok, I’m done now. 😉
We all know you would rather give up coffee than go without wheat. What cook in their right mind would want to get rid of the power of gluten? There is no substitute, just some lame, ultra-contrived attempts. However, your post was a real kick in the pants for me today. I have two finger feeding toddlers with serious food allergies. I feel like what you described in your April 14 post ALL the time. I do not need your Rush Limbaugh style rant to remind me of how easy you gluten eaters have it. It is because of this stupid dietary politics that I am terrified to send my children to school. People get so wrapped up in the annoying extremists that they get militant about not following special diet request. Please let the diet politics go to the people who just can’t help themselves and stick to writing about things that are actually helpful.
I’d keep coffee and pass on wheat, actually. #SeattlePride. I think if you knew me, you’d know that I take food allergies more seriously than probably everyone who’s not the mother of a child with a major food allergy. That’s the culinary training – it’s drilled into you that in a restaurant setting you could literally kill someone if you screw up an order involving a food allergy. In addition to the horror of hurting someone, sending a person into anaphylaxis is a horrible business move. Good restaurant folks treat all allergy claims as a possible life or death situation. I sympathize with your frustration but perhaps it would be better directed at the, as you say, “annoying extremists” who dilute public perception of the severity of some of these issues?
Yes. Many thanks for your post. Very much appreciated.
Even though I’ll have to fight other readers for it first, I so want that burger.
@Ellisa– I feel (some small portion of) your pain– I got a wheat allergy during pregnancy such that I would throw up anything that had even the smallest amount of wheat in it (see: Worcestershire sauce). It was AWFUL, and there’s wheat hidden in everything, even when you ask specifically for a gluten-free restaurant meal. (Though the gluten-free fad did make things easier– by the end, I’d figured out mostly what and where I could and couldn’t eat. Also Larabars.) We ate/eat a lot of rice and corn. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have more stealth symptoms like celiac or have the possibility of going into anaphylactic shock. My daughter still seems to have a mild allergy to it so we’re mostly avoiding it, but it is much easier now.
I saw that pic on FB and drooled. In fact I’m having a bacon burger tonight thanks to your influence.
Wheat doesn’t agree with me sadly, but that bun looks heavenly. I wish that the gluten free substitutes I’ve found looked that good. I already know they won’t TASTE as good.
Not that I’ve been ogling your picture, but do I spy caramalized onions, blue cheese AND mayo on top of the bacon? DELISH! Rock on. And please, do us all a favor and post the bun recipe.
Chard leaves! They work great and taste awesome too as a non-wheat wrapper option. You are right – there’s also whole grain mustard and dill relish in there somewhere. 🙂
If we correctly guess all of the ingredients, do we get a bite?
LMAO! I am gluten free and this exchange is funny. Thanks Erica!
That burger looks absolutely amazing, but it is a cheese sandwich for me this lunch time.
I have to say I got a real giggle out of your gluten blog, I thought is was a joke, but I guess not given the response you have received.
So here is my question, are people really allergic to gluten or is the the way the wheat is grown (herbicides, pesticides, non organic fertilizer) or is it the current races of wheat that have been meddled with to increase the gluten in bread, etc at the request of big corp bakeries? Just a thought.
Well, here’s the thing, it depends. Some people can’t have gluten because they have Celiac disease and the gluten protein basically makes their gut stop absorbing nutrients. Very bad. Strict dietary elimination of gluten is the only treatment. Some people have an allergic reaction to wheat, which is a different thing- a sudden anaphylactic reaction that, if severe, can lead to throat closure and death like any other severe food allergy – peanuts, shellfish, etc. This is rare and folks with a wheat allergy probably carry Epi Pens with them.
And some people do not have a clinical diagnosis of Celiacs or a true wheat allergy but find that wheat or gluten products just don’t agree with them – severe GI problems or rashes or inflammatory joint pain are common issues that might pop up. Dietary elimination (trial and error) is how many of these folks discover that not eating certain foods helps them feel better. My feeling is that, if not eating something consistently makes you feel better, go with it!
There are many theories as to why gluten intolerance seems to be on the rise; none are proven, but the theory about pumping the gluten has a lot going for it, and certainly the way we eat grains – the fineness and degree of processing they undergo – has changed radically in the last 200 years.
Yet another category of folks just tries whatever is discussed as the latest dietary thing at the moment. Sometimes because they find this kind of thing interesting, and sometimes because they are looking for the magic bullet – whatever it is. I have personally tried a bunch of ways of eating and found that I do fine on pretty much all of them, so I eat a mix of everything. But some people are going to thrive on lower carbs, or higher carbs, or prefer to avoid all animal products, or whatever. Again, all good by me. As long as people don’t try to make their diet my religion, I think it’s whatever works for the individual.
Note: wheat allergies are more common in little kids! But mostly they grow out of it.
There’s also oral allergy syndrome, which you can feel weird eating wheat (tingly, puffy) if you’re allergic to grass or birch when grass or birch pollen are in season. But it’s not as dangerous as a true wheat allergy.
And you can still have a wheat allergy and not have to carry an epi-pen (just benedryl)… some people just get hives, or… they throw up before their bodies can get much wheat. There is always the danger with any allergy that a person getting milder reactions will some day suddenly stop being able to breathe. Of course, that can happen if you never had an allergy before too.
This just popped up in my feed: a discussion about why non Celiac gluten sensitivity might be on the rise as relates to increased use of glyphosate: Eating Wheat Again.
Really, really funny post! My diet is quite low-carb due to a medical reason that may never change (although I hope is does and there may be a possibility.) So I am grain-free which makes me gluten-free… not to the degree a celiac person must be; I don’t worry about crumbs, for instance. Nevertheless, because I am a pretty good cook and there’s a vast universe of wonderful foods out there, I don’t usually feel deprived… not unless someone posts a picture of a gorgeous hamburger… so gorgeous I can smell it from here… just sayin’!
I have never felt it necessary to push my particular dietary choices or restrictions on others. Fanatics make it difficult for all of us. Especially for those who have such intolerances that they must care about even one crumb.
Thanks for the great laugh and for the reminder to to take ourselves too seriously, not everybody appreciates our personal obsessions! And I’d love an invite to sample the insides of one of your gorgeous hamburgers any old time.
Love the blog, it’s one of my very favorites… EVEN if you DO use PLATES!
Huh. I didn’t realize that food bloggers were all required to be gluten-free. Who knew? Can I share a secret? If someone passes an Oreo cookie under my nose and I feel like eating, it…I will eat it. I suppose I should start arranging my funeral now, as I will likely die at any moment with all that gluten and hydrogenated oil.
I don’t mind if someone is gluten-free…everybody is different, and I don’t doubt that many people are justified in skipping the wheat. (I’ve seen the swollen belly of a friend who accidentally ate just a little wheat at a wedding…you’d have thought she was 6 months pregnant.) And I rather enjoy the challenge of baking gluten-free. I’m still new at it, but I’m enjoying playing with all kinds of interesting flours and recipes. But nothing…NOTHING will EVER replace a slice of good wheat-filled sourdough.
That burger looks awesome! I believe in moderation most of the time and organic all of the time!
Thanks! I needed a good laugh today!
great looking burger, don’t think the person in question got your message though
OMG, that burger looks awesome. I would totally cheat on my grain free, low-carb diet for that. That guy is a DB.
That is one great looking burger! I am lucky enough not to have any food allergies or restrictions (other than self-imposed), but I would never presume to tell someone else that they eat wrong! I have plenty of friends that do have food issues, and if I invite them over for dinner I make every attempt to accommodate them, just as any good hostess would. Thanksgiving last year was interesting, since we had someone with a deadly mushroom allergy (so I modified the stuffing) and someone else that can’t do dairy (so I did a 2nd kind of stuffing with rices, dried fruit and broth, since mine has butter in it too). There were plenty of choices for everyone, even if they couldn’t eat everything offered. To tell someone that their choices are wrong is presumptuous and rude!
Wait, you eat meat?
Seriously? Ok, I’m Celiac and separately allergic to wheat (hives, swelling, epi pen carrying sort, we think the allergy developed because the Celiac went untreated/undiagnosed for many years after symptoms showed up). I thought your replies are spot on. I love your blog, and I have the common sense to know if I see something you’ve posted with the death-grains in it, I should use a substitute. In this case, Canyon Bakehouse makes fantastic gluten free hamburger buns (as long as the stupid store doesn’t freeze them) so I wouldn’t miss out on anything. Nowadays you can find a delicious substitute for anything gluteny so long as you don’t also have egg/rice/corn allergies.
Yeah, wheat/gluten isn’t good for a lot of people. Like people with autoimmune problems mostly (think Hashimoto’s, Cushings, Addisons, RA, Lupus, Psoriasis, and so on), skin issues like horrifically itchy blisters that kinda look like weepy hives or poison ivy (good chance that’s DH, aka Celiac of the skin. I know this because I had it for twenty fucking years on my elbows), some kinds of eczema, “idiopathic” IBS, stuff like that. If you have that kind of problem but don’t have Celiac, you should probably still leave gluten the hell alone, because they’re finding out it may be a main culprit or a significant irritant for these conditions. But for regular, healthy people with healthy guts, it’s probably totally OK if it’s organic, therefore avoiding glyphosate. The real baddie in grains is phytic acid, and brown rice has more than wheat so gluten free isn’t going to fix that. However, soaking, sprouting, and fermenting take care of that pretty well if you’re worried. I’m not really, I just avoid what tries to kill me, and eat anything and everything else that is real food. I’m not so much a fanatic of any dietary restriction, more like a walking encyclopedia of random specific things, so I try not to go on too much.
I feel like your response was totally rational and sane, and the other person was really pushy. I’ve read wheat belly too. Bits of it are right, but it reads like the next piece of sensationalistic diet stuff and the recipes suck. Pass! Also, I am jealous of your ability to eat bread bowls. It’s the one and only thing I cannot make a great replica of. I can make GF sandwich bread, muffins, cookies, cakes, cinnamon rolls, pie crust, pretty much anything from my homemade GF flour blends and people don’t even know it’s GF until I spill the beans (I SO do not feel deprived lol), but I can’t replicate those chewy, crusty, beautiful round boules of tart sourdough. If you ever get a crazy hair to try the PITA task of making a good GF sourdough and succeed, I will probably worship you forever. Ok, maybe not, but I might at least share my secret persimmon pie recipe 🙂
I went on too much. Oops. Sorry. You rock Erica. Keep being awesome.
Omg… You are too funny! Thanks for the giggle to start my day right.