You ripped up your front lawn to plant kale and a heritage quince tree. You adopted as many chickens as your town will allow. You make your own bread, jam, cheese, pickles, yogurt and beer. Worms eat your garbage
What you’re doing is ecological, economical and profoundly personally rewarding. You are living the dream, and doing it all within bike commute distance of an urban hub. Congratulations, you’re an urban homesteader! And you just want to share everything you’re learning with everyone else. If all those friends still buying their eggs at the store just knew how much better really fresh eggs were, you are sure they’d want chickens too!
STOP!
You are at risk of becoming an Urban Homesteader Asshole.
It is an easy trap to fall into, and it comes from a good place: an urgent desire to share all the great changes in your life with the people you care about. But before you make an unsolicited offer to help your apartment-dwelling friend build a chicken coop, step back, take a deep breath and remember those people.
Remember the guy in college who would only listen to Polish post-Industrial Pop, because German post-Industrial was total mainstream swill? Remember the vegan who asked how it felt to be eating rotting flesh just as you were about to bite into your burger? Remember the young professional who gave you that withering look in the waiting room while you were reading People, then pulled out her own copy of The Economist?
We really don’t want our Urban Homesteading to turn into that. No one likes it when people imply that their way of life is oh-so-much-better than everyone else’s.
See, the thing is, Urban Homesteading is hip. It’s getting press. People are taking those first steps to turn their home into a place of more productivity and less consumption. And that is wonderful. People see their normal, not-too-crunchy-granola neighbors growing more veggies and maybe putting in a fruit tree and they think, “Hey, if the Smith’s can grow a dwarf pear tree, I can grow a dwarf pear tree.” When they have one success under their belt, maybe they try something else. Maybe more vegetables. Maybe chickens. Maybe homemade jam. Maybe micro-hydro power.
But as more self-sufficient urban living becomes more mainstream, there is also a backlash. Articles like, “I am a Radical Homemaker failure” poke fun at the idea that people would voluntarily live with less money or do more domestic work in trade for more self-directed time. The author, Madeline Holler, bemoans her “thin and sour” homemade yogurt and lack of Crate and Barrel furniture, and equates “rendering fat and lacto-fermenting cucumbers” to shoveling rocks for Satan.
It is easy to read Ms. Holler’s assessment of lacto-fermented pickles (possibly the easiest preservation technique around, by the way) and want to shout from the roof-top: “Don’t listen to her! It’s worth it! I can show you why you will love my way better!”
But people who may be thinking about taking that first tentative step do not want to be told that your tangy homemade yogurt topped with a dollop of homemade wild blackberry jam kicks the ass of their Yoplait Light Boston Creme Pie Flavored yogurt. Even though it does. They laugh with Ms. Holler and at people crazy enough to take a little of their food production into their own hands. For these people, Urban Homesteading just seems weird.
And yet, and yet…just maybe they’ll stick a pot of basil on the porch this summer instead of a geranium. And if they do, we cannot jump all over them to grow strawberries and tomatoes and cucumbers and kholrabi and hardy kiwi and goji berry too. If, in our eagerness to share the next step we diminish the triumph of the first step, we run the risk of alienating people who might otherwise come on board.
We run the risk of portraying Urban Homesteading as an all-or-nothing commitment, when in reality it is exactly and only what one makes of it. If we’d like to see a nation of farmers
So get out there in your front yard and grow those berries and that chard. Send the kids out to gather those eggs. Walk the walk, but be soft with the talk. Show your neighbors that Urban Homesteading isn’t just for hippies. If you are experienced in a certain area, mentor those who truly want it. They’ll find you. Be proud of what you are doing, but be gracious with those who are doing less or who aren’t in the same place in life. Focus on your community and your neighborhood. Be welcoming but don’t scare people off. Let people find their own first step.
Don’t be an Urban Homesteader Asshole.
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Best post title ever!
P.S. The content is really great too. Looking forward to meeting you in person on Saturday!
Thanks! It will be great to meet up in real life! 🙂
Really great writing Erica!
Thank you! 🙂
Just popped over here by way of Family Style Love, and I adore this post! Having moved from the great PNW with plenty of urban homesteading space, to LA with almost zero urban homesteading space, dear god, yes, sometimes people need to take it down a notch and make their commentary contextually appropriate (myself included!). Thanks for making me laugh. 🙂
Family Style Love sent me this way as well. One post and I'm hooked!!! I am one of those people who wishes they had the seeds already sprouting under the grow lights in the basement…maybe you will inspire me! Can't wait to read more!
Great post, and I couldn't agree more. Aren't things endlessly more hip if we *don't* proselytize?
Natalie, Cookie & t -Welcome and thanks for reading! So happy to have FSL readers.
Natalie-so now you have less room but more sun to work with! Make me jealous with what you're growing. 🙂
Cookie-I'm flattered, thanks! It's definitely not to late to get seeds going, in fact we're just getting warmed up. I'm working to fill in the calendar with our planting dates; they should more-or-less work for the Puget Sound area, so maybe you can plant along with me.
T-Amen to that. All the cool kids play it cool. Thanks for reading!
The last paragraph is sheer genius. "Walk the walk, but be soft with the talk" applies to *anything* we can be passionate about – from homesteading to diet to commute patterns. Great post!
Thanks Andrew, I totally agree. No need to shout so loudly. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
yes, yes, a thousand times yes. start w people (self included) where we are at. make a bridge. build it well.
Thank you! I'm also seeing a lot of "competition" among urban homesteaders. It makes me crazy. I know in the SF Bay Area there's all this "No, *I'm* the ORIGINAL urban homesteader" drama and I just find it silly. Why does it have to be a competition? Why can't we just educate people that ask for help and do what we feel comfortable with? Just because we have rabbits and chickens and goats and bees doesn't mean you have to do the same if you're not ready.
Being humble about what you're doing, even if you are passionate about it will go further than being an asshole.
Thank you for writing this in such a way as to get the attention of the very sort of person who might fall into the habit of, well, um, maybe not being such a good ambassador for Urban homesteading. I'm hoping we can also do the same to encourage good ambassador-ism for alternative transportation!
Saw this post through Punk Domestics, and hope this message gains traction! Thank you for writing this. I live in the Bay Area in a neighborhood that is undergoing a transition to hipness that I will inevitably be unable to afford, and I wish that I could just shout this from the rooftop gardens and backyard coops!
This reminds me so much of the Pemco commercials: "Northwest Profile #47, Urban Homesteading Asshole".
A reminder is also due to the coworkers & friends of people like us, who have a passion for local foods: if we present you with a gift of homemade pasta, a jar of lovingly canned jam, or a dozen eggs, accept it with graciousness. Don't ask why we spend so much time making this stuff when it's available at the grocery store. Doing so is inviting a soapbox speech! 🙂
Wowza, I'm so humbled that this post is resonating with people! Thank you all so much for reading, commenting & re-posting.
Michelle-exactly! Not being as asshole also means not being an asshole to ourselves if (god forbid) we have to buy bread this week instead of making it. We all jump in where we are at, and everyone's efforts are a work-in-progress.
Rachel & Nicole-I am concerned about this too. There's always a land rush to claim greater hipness when something gains a wider following. I remember the Nirvana and Doc Martin days up here in Seattle – the number of people who claimed to have "been totally into" Nirvana before everyone else was pretty ridiculous. If they were all telling the truth Cobain was rocking out in a 15,000 seat garage, that's all I'm saying. Green living in general is suffering from this, the, "I'm greener than you because I can afford a $45,000-solar-retrofit crowd" is just another variation on "my status symbol is better than your status symbol." It's a pity.
Anon-agreed! Let's graciously walk the walk, bike the bike, and train the train! 🙂
Jenn-LOL! Those ads are funny because they're true. I have been told flat out by friends that they will not eat home preserved food..no jam, pickles, anything. I appreciate the honesty cause I know not to pass along my goods! But, yeah, if someone gives you a dozen backyard eggs, the correct response is: "Wow those colors are amazing! Thank you and please thank the girls, too!"
Erica: Here! Here! My thoughts exactly and you expressed them so emphatically and succinctly. As with any changes, you can certainly bring more people around with a soft touch than by beating over the head. It’s the same process we need to allow for using natives, (natives aren’t better than non-natives in all cases) and for government regulation (no, we dont need to regulate what kind of tissue paper in the bathrooms).
Well done! Thank you for another inspiring example of dont be afraid to speak your mind, there’s millions out there who agree with you.
Teresa
This is awesome! I must admit I've been a "local" asshole at times. Time to reign it in! Living by example should be much more effective.
Thanks Jennifer!
I think I will print this out and add it to the top of my neighbor's front yard compost pile.
Pffft. Everyone knows gardens go in the front yard and compost on the side, with the back reserved for barbeques and beers.
This article is the Truth! Well written as well. Congrats in getting it on CNN.
I popped over here from Punk Domestics and I loved your writing! I'm actually the crazy hippie on the block in the old house right in between two brand new homes. On one side I have the "normal" family with a manicured lawn and on the others I think I may have closet farmers 🙂 I'm actually just learning to grow my own food (I have a horrible brown thumb) but they ask me for help and advice. I gave them a few broccoli starters last summer but it stayed on their dark front porch in the same little pots until they died LOL.
Fred – make sure you print on 100% post-consumer content recycled paper with soy ink. 😉
Justin – Thanks so much, I'm humbled and thrilled!
Improb Farmer – Thanks, I'm so happy to have PD readers visiting. I've given starts away just to watch them die too. So sad!
What a great post from an excellent writer! Your humor and passion show, and I appreciate the sentiment. I sell produce at a farmers market and have for 10 years. It's fun to see people become converts; discussing recipes and having exact change, buying this from her and that from him. Change is good, but only when one is ready!
Thanks so much Candi!
Love the post. I hope you rub off on me! I would love to have a garden this summer. I am keeping an eye on your calendar for ideas. Thanks for the inspiration!!
Bravo! Now I understand why this post is really making the rounds. (I linked in from Punk Domestics and Well Preserved's FB posts.) I've been guilty of being a recycle-nazi, but have realized not everyone wants to save the world. But I guess that's why the rest of us keep doing our parts in our own little ways.
Thanks Laura, let me know if you have any suggestions for making the calendar more useful.
Hi Tugs, thanks for popping over and reading! I can be a naturally a little…uh…over-eager myself when I'm excited about something, which is why I wrote the post. 😉 I think most people want to do their part, but sometimes life and kids and job and everything else can complicate the transition from best intentions to actions. I guess I'm optimistic that we of the local/sustainable/slightly-greener-living philosophy have momentum on our side, and the best way to keep that going is by being "big tent" and welcoming, not dogmatic and isolationist, because we all start somewhere. Thanks again!
Hi Erica,
Wow, what a great post. I agree that we can apply this to almost anything in life… For me, I'm a birth doula and I struggle *daily* with trying to get people to think of birth as something great instead of something scary. I love your quote: "If, in our eagerness to share the next step we diminish the triumph of the first step, we run the risk of alienating people who might otherwise come on board." SOOOO true. We live in a world that is so quick to be right, so quick to be expert and it really takes grace to come across as approachable. As for me, I'm going to try growing raspberries this year. I kow they'll taste much better coming from my own backyard!
Thanks Cymmie. Great point, and brings up an interesting comparison of the birth process and growing things – both natural processes and both accomplished with a wide range of stewarding and/or intervention techniques depending on your goals and circumstance.
Raspberries are great fresh from the cane, easy to grow organically and so much cheaper than store bought, too. It's getting them to the house that's the problem. 🙂 Enjoy your berry patch!
Great reminder. I teach high school science. My first few years, I jumped on every opportunity to expose them to strategies for sustainable living that I thought they wouldn't hear about otherwise. This was probably true, but I turned off a number of kids who painted me as another crazy science teacher. I still walk the walk, but have definitely toned down my rhetoric. The inclined students are no less inspired.
Even more relevant considering current topics in the Ur-ban Home-stead arena.
Thanks for the on target commentary.
This post exactly describes the way we approach our "Urban Mini-Farm/City Smallholding" (LOL)! Our neighbors watch us with amusement and ask tons of questions- what are those barrels hooked to your gutters…Do brown eggs taste the same? We answer but never lecture. One neighbor paid me the best compliment (her children are grown) and said "Your are the mother I never was, I could have done all that but didn't… What your children are learning is wonderful"… That is why we do it…
This was hilarious, well written and very true. Thanks!
And this is among the many many reasons I love Erica Strauss…when she isn't making amazing fresh morning crepes with huckleberries and yogurt for her dearest friend…she is busy telling it like it is. DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE. LOL
Found a link to this blog post from Dog Island Farm, and I'm thrilled to have you on my list of blogs I follow. Lots of back-reading to do now & looking forward to it.
Great post!
Such a great article!!! Thank you for saying everything I have been thinking 🙂
Thank you all for reading! 🙂
Thanks! It's always nice to see garden photos by Jana Remy.
Perfect! For those of us just starting out, it can be intimidating to talk to "professional" no it alls that condemn the 10 other things you aren't doing instead of the first step you are doing. Bravo!
if she cultivated 6,000lbs of organic produce year after year on a 1/10 of an acre without not even a drop of a pesticide, a 4,5kW solar array, a dozen chicken and ducks laying fresh eggs, an organic garden and compost pile, milled all her flour by hand, a greywater system, a compost toilet, a rainwater catchment system, have organized hundreds of seminars, screenings and free potlucks to teach and enlighten the lalahood while keeping a family of four together, healthy and sane she might have a case, as it is, it is only disgusting and mean-spirited writing
I believe I might just have my first hate comment! Congratulations Anonymous, and thank you for making my point while missing it entirely.
The infamous “Maggie” perhaps?
That is FUCKING hilarious! And so obvious who made it.
Ah, yes — I wonder who "Anonymous" could be? I'm sorry, but I don't care WHAT someone does on their 1/10 acre. It doesn't give anyone a case to be an "urban homesteading asshole." Also, while we're at it, it doesn't give *anyone* a right to trademark commonly used phrases (or, to be more accurate, get a service mark on the supplemental register) and then bully other hardworking urban homesteaders. I know the trademark doesn't specifically relate to Erica's original post, but something tells me that "Anonymous" is familiar with the situation.
Wow–Anonymous cannot feel that good about what he/she says. Not willing to put your name on it, means you have NO credibility in my book. Own up, and then we can have a dialogue, not bombastic monologue.
Sane?
Probably maybe perhaps a LaLa person?
3 tons of produce from 4,350 square feet per year??? Not bloody likely that you can yield 1.4 pounds of (the context assumes "edible") produce for every square foot of a garden.
"Keeping a family of four together, healthy and sane"??? What about family members five and six–the wife and one child that fled in terror years ago at the sight of Jules Dervaes emulating Old Testament prophets in his Bible-mobile.
"organic…compost pile"??? I seem to recall the Dervaes get tons of free compost from third parties.
Great post!
And I SO agree with Sharon about anonymous comments….cowards! (although the bad grammar is a dead giveaway:)
Well, I for one, am glad someone is looking out for those of us out here in the lalahood who might be dissuaded from behaving as assholes by the disgusting and mean-spirited writer of this blog. I suppose the point anonymous is making is, it's OK to act as an asshole as long as you have the proper credentials! lol! Great post Erica!